Just for Today

Every time someone unsubscribes from my mailing list my heart dies just a little. When Mail Chimp sends me my stats and someone has hit that unsubscribe button (and I see you, name and all) my inner child silently says goodbye, grabs a box of tissues and has a quiet cry in the corner. 
You see, I’m lucky if I send about four newsletters a year so it’s not like one of those annoying promos that you sign up to and then your inbox gets a constant stream of unwanted notifications. And yes I have my days where seeking a more permanent source of income would be far easier on my bank account than trying to make myself stand out in a sea of other artists. Social media seems to be a big black hole of never ending self promotion and finding the next ‘best way’ to be seen. I find it all absolutely exhausting and days like today I just want to throw my hands up in the air and open up the SEEK app. 
I’ll be the first to tell you I undercharge, much to my own detriment. ‘Why?’ To get business, hell I even do stuff for free to get my name out there. The last mural that spanned across four full days…….yep zip, zero, zilch.  Who works for free these days, practically nobody.   It frustrates me when I see people pay a lot more for what I would consider very mediocre work. Meanwhile the bills keep piling up on the fridge and my husband is working his fingers to the very bone so we can keep our heads above the water. I feel an enormous amount of guilt not being able to contribute anything substantial to the family income. So I concentrate on  expanding my knowledge, stretching my skills and I work on improving my craft every single day.  Every single day.
Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love what I do and the expectations I put on myself are enormous. There is always a hope that perhaps that next painting, that next Facebook post, that next Instagram picture is going to be my big break. It’s completely exhausting and some days (like today) soul destroying. Yes sure, I have some small wins but it feels a bit like body surfing. You think you’re about to catch the perfect wave but the water recedes just before the wave has its chance to break. It’s like the Universe gives you a glimpse of all the possibilities but never enough traction to make the difference. 

So just for today I’ll give myself a bit of self care and tomorrow I’ll put my big girl panties on and start again.

……… and if you want to hear from me feel free to join my mailing list



The Oversharer

The Oversharer

My personality traits tend to include over-sharing There has been numerous occasions when a little over-sharing has landed me into some warm steamy poop! I can’t help it if I’m the one that points out the elephant in the room.  My sense of humor and quick witted sarcasm usually has undertones of truth all over it! So in my caring over sharing way here’s how to recognize those toxic people in your life and how to get rid of them!
No Integrity – People who think it’s okay to treat you badly because they believe there are no consequences for their actions.  These people have a complete lack of perception about how what they say, or do, effect other people. If they are aware, then they just don’t give a fat rats and probably fit in the narcissistic personality disorder category. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
Michelle’s over-sharing critique  These people are bought into our life to teach us what NOT to accept.  If their jealously, bitterness, insecurities or just plain nastiness doesn’t have you running for the door, then RUN FORREST RUN. You do not need these people in your life. You are only there to make them feel better about themselves, not the other way around. 
Non Sharers –  People who wont tell you where they bought that pretty scarf, give you a copy of a family recipe to chocolate brownies, how they managed a 5 star holiday on a 2 star budget, share business contacts bla bla bla and the list goes on.

Michelle’s over-sharing critique  These types of people tend to ask lots of questions and have no problems asking you for information, while their minds are constantly ticking away with their own agendas. They typically change the subject, dodge answering direct questions or give vague responses. ‘I bought it somewhere in the city I think, I can’t remember now’. They can be private, thrifty, people who seem to succeed ALOT.   They go on their overseas holiday every other year but won’t share the deals, websites or travel agencies they used. After all, who wouldn’t like to  plan a decent family holiday on a budget?  I don’t understand these people (that’s because I’m an over-sharer). Maybe they feel they have invested so much time and energy planning this for themselves that they have little desire to share the abundance with others. These people are here to teach us what we don’t want in relationships.  A friendship, relationship or partnership is about giving and receiving. There needs to be an equal exchange of energy or it upsets the balance.  Stop giving and see what happens.  I bet you find the relationship just slips away never to be seen again. 

Facebook Stalkers – They never ‘like’ anything. They never comment. They never post,  but they raise their ugly stalker heads if they accidentally drop something in conversation and you’re like ‘WTF? How did you know?’ (oh that’s right we’re FB friends).  Sometimes they don’t even use their own accounts to do it! “OMG” I hear you say. I know, unbelievable isn’t it!  They seem to know everything about you but you know very little if anything about whats going on in their life.   They collate information like mini computers and some even use you to start gossip and create drama in your life (gasp). These FB stalkers also THINK they know you.  FYI – No you don’t FB Stalkers, you see what I choose to share THAT IS ALL!
Michelle’s over-sharing critique Sometimes these people also fit in the NON SHARER category.  I know, scary to think they have a foot in both camps.  These people are here to teach us how to use Facebook! RESTRICTED ACCESS PEOPLE.  PUBLIC posts limit what you share with these types of people. Understandably sometimes you may use restricted status because you don’t want people at work or school encroaching into your personal life, other times its to just keep the busy bodies out! There is also a DE-FRIEND button. Don’t be afraid to use it. 

Last but not least 
Boundary breeches –  Moochers also fit under this category (Someone who always asks for things and favors constantly and will never leave you alone. They will ask for money, rides to places, for you to do simple tasks they could do easily but they think the whole world should cater to them, basically just a leech to everyone around them, a parasite to the community) . Warning – also watch out for the Non sharers and the No Integrity people. These people feel they have a sense of entitlement, take no personal responsibility for their choices or have no boundaries themselves.  All these types of people will encroach on your life taking advantage of your generous giving nature.  Sadly they are usually close friends and family who make the most of putting you in extremely uncomfortable situations where you may feel awkward or embarrassed to have to stand your ground and say NO! Just like that overseas relative who was supposed to crash on your couch for a couple of weeks and is still there three months later.
Michelle’s over-sharing critique The takers will continue to take as long as the givers keep on giving.  STOP DOING IT! You will be surprised at how the dynamics of this type of relationship will change when you do.  The Boundary Breeches may just be No Integrity, Narcissistic Personality Disorder types in ‘sheep’s’ clothing.

 Do yourself a favor and start to eliminate these toxic people from your life.  Take yourself off the SALE shelf and put up the price tag. You and your time are worth so more, so give it to those that truly value you.