Marla Spiritual Guidance 2020

Marla Spiritual Guidance 2020

Firstly, this is the first time I have publicly shared a reading with you all. Whatever your belief system, if you do decide to continue to read, I want you to do so with an open heart and mind. For those that have had a commissioned Guide Drawing done for them before you will know there is part channeling, part symbology and part intuitive as I am gently guided when I start to write or paint. This is how it works for me.

This painting may mean different things to different people, and that is totally okay. I am an interpreter of my own work and how she resonates with you will be your truth. Feel free to screen shot her and take her into your home. Meditate with what this painting means to you and just allow the images to reveal themselves. I have had several requests for Guide work however I am not offering personal Guide Drawings at the moment as I am choosing to protect my own energy. However, if a little way down the track I feel guided to open up my books again I will be sure to post it on my Social. As always take care and #stayathome.

Namaste

Michelle

As I began writing this reading I was reminded of the song ‘He has the whole world in his hands.’ This song is a reminder that God (The Divine, Universal Energy or however you choose to identify with Source) is in control of all aspects of creation and we should take comfort in this knowledge. From the birds in the air and the fish in the sea to “little bitsy babies”, everything is in Gods hands.

This beautiful Guide introduced herself to me as Marla. When I looked up the meaning of the name Marla it is a variant of the name Marlene, which comes from Mary Magdalene, the biblical woman to whom Jesus Christ first appeared after his resurrection. This may mean something or nothing, but I believe a name holds weight especially when a Guide shares this with me, as they do not always reveal this detail. Interpret this as you will.

For those that know about power animals, Hummingbird symbology represents one of joy, love, healing, happiness and timelessness. ‘Hummingbird also possesses an unusual hovering pattern, and is able to move its wings in a figure of eight pattern, a symbol for infinity., This holds a message for us – often we find ourselves stuck in time, regretting or longing for the past, or hoping that the future will bring better things, building castles in the sky. We are shown how to view the past and then let go, rather than be continuously caught up in it, we learn how to appreciate that the past creates our future, and that even at the time some lessons were harsh and hurtful ones, we wouldn’t be who we are without these lessons today. We need the past to create the future, but mustn’t dwell in it, yet we may reflect on it bur not in a bitter cant-let-go manner. If we become the observer of our lives by moving back a step, our lives will be viewed differently. Hummingbird teaches us to go beyond time and to see that what happened in the past and what may happen in the future is not nearly as important as what is occurring now. Remember to hover in the moment, and to appreciate its sweetness. Drink deeply of the nectar of life. The vibrating hum of this birds wings and their lightness seem to symbolise the subtle energetic healing which essences can provide. Their physical lightness is a powerful reminder for us to lighten up. When weighed down with worries, our spirits cannot soar.’ – Inna Woolcott

To read more about Hummingbird energy please see the Shamanic Journey website http://www.shamanicjourney.com/hummingbird-power-animal-mes…

Marla’s Message: 


Your prayers are heard sweet children of planet Earth. You have not been forgotten. Trust me when I say that a solution will come but not in the way you expect. Allow this time to plant seeds for what is to come, for this is the change that was always going to happen. If you want to see a different world then you are going to have to create this together. Some will soon forget the difficulties in which you are all facing, and others will find it difficult to move forward with the weight of their grief and sorrow. Hold fast awakened ones, as you are the anchors that will allow the space for the new world to enter. Grieve not for the souls that are ascending for they are simply coming home. You are surrounded by pure unconditional love. There is no right or wrong, it ‘just is’. Can you feel the energy building? It is sending out impulses that are reaching galaxies far beyond yours. We hear the call and we are coming. You do not have to do this alone, so with unseen hands we are holding space for you while you transition. Much like a Mother will watch tenderly knowing her babe will fall, but also waiting to see them stand up on their own. There are times when we need to step back to allow you to grow, this is that time. Remember, remember dear ones. Remember where you come from and why you are here at this very moment in time. You chose to help with the evolution of this planet. Return back to love and you will remember. You will remember. 

He’s got the whole world in His hands

He’s got the whole world in His hands

He’s got the whole world in His hands

He’s got the whole world in His hands

He’s got the wind and the rain in His hands

He’s got the wind and the rain in His hands

He’s got the wind and the rain in His hands

He’s got the whole world in His hands

He’s got the little bitty baby in His hands

He’s got the little bitty baby in His hands

He’s got the little bitty baby in His hands

He’s got the whole world in His hands

He’s got you and me, brother in His hands

He’s got you and me, brother in His hands

He’s got you and me, brother in His hands

He’s got the whole world in His hands

He’s got you and me, sister in His hands

He’s got you and me, sister in His hands

He’s got you and me, sister in His hands

He’s got the whole world in His hands

He’s got the whole world in His hands

He’s got the whole world in His hands

When Life Gives You Lemons

When Life Gives You Lemons

Fifteen years ago I became a mum. I left the workforce and became a full time stay at home parent. Still wanting to keep my mind active I studied to become a swimming teacher but ended up paying more out in childcare fees than my actual wage. When my second baby arrived I decided to put my work life on hold until he was a little more independent. That was 11 years ago. When my youngest was heading off to four year old kindergarten I thought great, now I can get back into work and start contributing to the household finances, then I was diagnosed with cancer. That was 7 years ago.

Over the last seven years I have worked a casual job which ended rather abruptly after I had a dumping episode. Unfortunately a side effect of living without a stomach and a boss who was not willing to compromise. I’ve also done contract work but the pay and the hour and 20 minute round trip wasn’t even covering my petrol.  Don’t get me wrong, there have been plenty of pluses.  I get to stay at home, attend children’s events at school, dont have to compromise my boss if any of the kids are home sick, volunteer my time to the school community, eat when I want, rest when I want, go out when I want and work on my art portfolio. Its like being on one big holiday only there is no sightseeing or spending money and you have to motivate yourself to get out of bed every single day.

Sacrificing all the things that come with working full time and being able to up skill in the creative sense has been the most selfish and fulfilling part of being at home. Launching a website and Page on Facebook, doing commissioned art pieces for people all over the world. Pushing myself on a daily basis to be better, to be more visible, to extend my experiences into meditation classes, art classes, craft workshops. Advertising, daily posts, sticking flyers up around local shops. Expand, expand, expand, doing what I love in the hope that I can not only help others but give my family the financial freedom we so desire.  Here I am nearly eight years down the track and I feel like a bit of a failure. I am so tired. So tired of trying to balance my health, my family, my support page and my business. So tired of feeling guilty for not being able to financially contribute to the family income, so tired of feeling I am not where I thought I would be.  Watching others around me so motivated, meditating daily for blasts of inspiring feel good posts, feeling into the rhythm of the universe and working with the cycles of the moon, bla bla bla, plastering positivity all over their social media, watching friends who have their shit together and feeling I could be doing more,  I should be doing more, I need to be seeing and being more.  But I can’t because I am SO TIRED of trying and failing.  Seriously, there are only so many times you can pick yourself up before you have to stop and reevaluate your entire life and the current direction you are facing. And now a quiet pause…….

“Hey Spirit, here is your opportunity to send that big bolt of 
lightening I have been waiting for.” 

I can understand why so many amazing Artists simply give up trying to make a living from their Art. I really wanted to be the exception. After all I am a walking miracle and by all accounts I shouldn’t be alive right now. Should’nt that mean something? Didn’t God let me live so that I could see out a much greater purpose? I thought I’d been grasping life by the big kahunas to create the successful abundant life I deserve, but I haven’t succeeded and being granted a second chance at life doesn’t make me special, it just makes me extremely lucky.  My life holds no more value than anyone else’s. My experiences certainly make me look at life with a different perspective and I always look for every possibility.  If I didn’t I could possibly be the most miserable person on the planet.  Here’s a depiction of me looking miserable with a pair of useless big kahunas.

Is there a part of me that has had a sense of entitlement that because I survived that makes me somehow special? Reality check …… I think there might have been.  My shadow just got a big slap in face and knows this is a complete fabrication to cover up any insecurities and fear around lack and acceptance. Getting through cancer doesn’t make me special, it makes me a liability.  Lets face it letting a few organs go is going to compromise a lot of things and those that say it was a small price to pay to survive, well lets just say that comment is not helpful. They have absolutely no comprehension what price I have had to pay and continue to pay for everyday of my life.  I simply do not have the capacity to work full time anymore. I don’t even know how I will cope part time. If I disclose the reasons for the gap in my of employment then I can almost guarantee that no matter how experienced I am or how much of a kind competent person I maybe, my resume will be cast aside quicker than yesterday’s newspaper.  Let’s just look at the term cast aside for a moment. Abandoned, unwanted, undervalued, overlooked, ignored, forgotten, unused, depreciated, declined, passed over. Ever fiber in my being fights these words every single day, consciously and unconsciously.  PTSD is very real in my world and it comes out in various ways, some of them extremely healing and creative and some not so constructive.

What does success look like anyway?
A large social media following? –  These people probably have no time for anything else or they have lots of people working for them so stop comparing.
A healthy bank account? –  Who doesn’t want an endless supply of cash but think about all of the things that are sacrificed in order to have this, including being with the most important people in your life.
A balanced body? –  This is hard work in every sense of the word.
A great job?  – Whats that? Unless you are extremely fortunate to love what you do or work for yourself in which case there are also big sacrifices.
Holidays? – That was nice for all of three seconds, now go chain yourself back to your desk in a job you hate with people you don’t really like but have to tolerate so you can save up for your next holiday.
Healthy relationships? –  Saying no, creating boundaries, letting toxic people go no matter how much it hurts – did I also mention hard work.
Lots of friends? – The more friends you have the more drama you are likely to be pulled into – keep your circle small.
OR
Just the fact that you have somewhere soft and warm to sleep with food in your cupboards? – Some may call that gratitude others might call that living in survival energy. Either way it’s all a matter of perspective.

I am also under no illusion that what people post is what they want you to see.  Most people do not  want other people to see that they are not coping, that their marriage is falling apart, that they cant afford to feed themselves, there are bills on the fridge they cant pay, that their health is failing, that their job is taking a mental and physical toll on their well-being and that life can sometimes be really tough.  A beautiful made up face and cute baby photos do not equate to a good sleep and a well adjusted baby!  All the misconceptions and in-authenticity out there in social media land causes a ripple of self doubt and anxiety that we all should be more that what we are or what we are capable of achieving. One big Snap chat filter so the world never has to see the real us.  Even the most positive posts can be full of falseness and fishing for more likes or comments. Ive seen it happen in groups where people strategically reply over several days to comments on posts to bring their post back up to the top of the page for more exposure.  It happens and these people are sprinkling spirituality out of their calculating fingertips. Sometimes I cant work out if I admire their enterprising genius or despise their disingenuous.   Like it or not social media is such an integrated part of our daily lives that it plays a part in what I consider part of my success and some days like today I am just as messed up as the next person.

As I approach my eight year cancer free I am also contemplating what the future holds for me.  But for today I do nothing but write as my head hurts from projecting, my heart aches from my past failures, my body is completely and utterly exhausted and my soul is so so tired. I know this shall pass and when the waves of emotion retreat I will have found another spark of inspiration from God knows where and a renewed sense of hope for better more abundant days to come. If there is one thing I love about me its the fact that I can recognize when I need to stop, retreat and give myself the time to reinvent myself.  Kind of like Madonna but without her bank account!

When life gives you lemons, you say F?@k lemonade. Then google every single recipe you can using lemons!

Michelle <3

Just for Today

Every time someone unsubscribes from my mailing list my heart dies just a little. When Mail Chimp sends me my stats and someone has hit that unsubscribe button (and I see you, name and all) my inner child silently says goodbye, grabs a box of tissues and has a quiet cry in the corner. 
You see, I’m lucky if I send about four newsletters a year so it’s not like one of those annoying promos that you sign up to and then your inbox gets a constant stream of unwanted notifications. And yes I have my days where seeking a more permanent source of income would be far easier on my bank account than trying to make myself stand out in a sea of other artists. Social media seems to be a big black hole of never ending self promotion and finding the next ‘best way’ to be seen. I find it all absolutely exhausting and days like today I just want to throw my hands up in the air and open up the SEEK app. 
I’ll be the first to tell you I undercharge, much to my own detriment. ‘Why?’ To get business, hell I even do stuff for free to get my name out there. The last mural that spanned across four full days…….yep zip, zero, zilch.  Who works for free these days, practically nobody.   It frustrates me when I see people pay a lot more for what I would consider very mediocre work. Meanwhile the bills keep piling up on the fridge and my husband is working his fingers to the very bone so we can keep our heads above the water. I feel an enormous amount of guilt not being able to contribute anything substantial to the family income. So I concentrate on  expanding my knowledge, stretching my skills and I work on improving my craft every single day.  Every single day.
Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love what I do and the expectations I put on myself are enormous. There is always a hope that perhaps that next painting, that next Facebook post, that next Instagram picture is going to be my big break. It’s completely exhausting and some days (like today) soul destroying. Yes sure, I have some small wins but it feels a bit like body surfing. You think you’re about to catch the perfect wave but the water recedes just before the wave has its chance to break. It’s like the Universe gives you a glimpse of all the possibilities but never enough traction to make the difference. 

So just for today I’ll give myself a bit of self care and tomorrow I’ll put my big girl panties on and start again.

……… and if you want to hear from me feel free to join my mailing list

 

 

Through My Fathers Eyes

Through My Fathers Eyes


I remember getting alot of adult attention after my father’s death.  A steady stream of people flowed through our family home bearing food and gifts to cheer us up. I guess it worked because I cannot remember being a grief stricken child. At school my art design was chosen for the Christmas card competition (and it wasn’t very good!). I was given leading roles at my ballet school and my teachers were nice, caring and generally overcompensating especially around the father’s day celebrations. I was never given a real opportunity to grieve the loss because everyone around me always wanted to make me happy.
The earliest recollection of my father being sick was visiting him in hospital.  I remember that visit because I buried my head in his overnight bag so I didn’t have to watch the nurse change his drip.  He thought it was extremely funny, although my fear of needles lasted for the next 27 years!   One day I sat on his knee and looked him right in the eyes.  ‘Dad’ I asked, “Are you going to die?’  My father had been diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer.   How do you tell a 6 year old the truth without breaking her little heart, so of course my Dad lied ‘No Princess, I’m not going to die’.  When he passed in 1978 at the age of 36, I was 6 years old and my little baby brother was 4. 
The magic in life just seemed to slowly disappear.  Quite suddenly as everyone got back to their own lives things got hard.  I not only lost my Dad that day, I lost a part of my mum as well. As I grew older I became angry and resentful that my father had not only died but lied. I was never able to let go of the hurt although my adult logic knew why he done what he had done. I guess you can never really appreciate what someone is experiencing until you experience it yourself. 
When I was 39 years old with young children of my own  I was diagnosed with stage 3 stomach cancer.  The frightened little girl, who stuck her head in the overnight bag resurfaced.  I was given an opportunity to see my father’s diagnosis through my own eyes and I was finally able to grieve the loss of my father.  I would look into my babies eyes at night and feel the overwhelming sadness and heartache my father must have felt knowing he was not going to see us grow up.  I cherished every moment with my family, not knowing if I was heading into the same terminal diagnosis.  The time I was able to sit on the floor and play with my boys became ever so precious.  My husband became my career, my strength and support. He took over the running of the house to the organizing of everyone’s life.  I only had one job, to get myself well so I could give my boys the opportunity to have what I never had growing up, two parents.  My surgery was successful and after months of chemo, radiation and healing I was given a second chance at life. 
Four years after my surgery and 37 years of my father resting up at the crematorium my mother decided it was time to scatter his ashes.   I think we all would love one more day with a loved one that has passed and I feel so blessed at having had the opportunity. Even though I always know he is with me in spirit, I had a physical connection and something to hold onto for one more day.  His urn lay next to me while I watched TV, I held him in my bed and cried.  I told him how much I love and missed him, and he spent his last physical night watching over me from my bedside table.  I got to hold him in my hands again as my mum and I scattered his ashes in the sea and I now keep his plaque in my garden.  I felt life come full circle and I was finally able to put some closure on the funeral I did not attend as a child. 
My experience with cancer allowed me to open up and release the part of me that needed to let go.  I still feel sadness even while I re-read this blog. I don’t think that will ever go away but the anger and the sense of being robbed of my childhood no longer has a place in my heart. 
 
Michelle Lykokapis
Stomach Cancer Survivor
“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.”

“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.”


“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.” 
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones 

We strive so hard as humans to be happy, spending so much time trying to fill the void.  We go to work, build our nests, take vacations.  It is almost impossible not to feel like a hamster going around a wheel sometimes. ‘Ground Hog Day’ for those that can remember that classic early 90’s film.  A year passes, two years pass then all of a sudden it’s ten. Time has a way of flying and before you know it you are standing there middle aged looking at your life. If you are lucky you may feel somewhat pleased at the job, house, car or family you have surrounded yourself with, but chances are you might be one of those people who are thinking “Well, this didn’t quite work out how I planned it”. 

Everyone has problems; I have never met a person without one.  The degree of those problems and how you handle them however is measured by the amount of personal shit you have had to endure. The type of person you become is molded by how you get through them.  I remember when my brother’s girlfriend was killed in a car accident. I was in my early 20’s and worked at a sports store at the time. I remember looking at customers who took hours pondering over a pair of shoes. I honestly couldn’t believe that someone could waste so much time and energy on something so trivial. It really shook me up and put my life into perspective.  

I have had people through my life that have made their problems their armour. Instead of walking through the fire and becoming an inspiration to others they have chosen to be victims and have spiralled downwards into alcoholic or drug induced depression. It really saddens me, when I see what has become of people I once called friends.  I feel like giving them a bloody good shake. For goodness sake they were the fastest sperm! Surely that has to mean something, but sadly not. And it’s not that I don’t feel for these people, they are simply no longer a reflection of me anymore.  To invite their drama and negativity into my life would tip the fine balance that I have to delicately tend and nurture so I stay a happy and healthy person. 

I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to keeping my life busy. I have lists, for lists. Life simply couldn’t go on without me and I have to fit as much into a day as humanly possible.  I will often forget that not so long ago I was a very sick person. After surgery I was barely able to walk to the car let alone race around a shopping center.  Slowly Ground Hog Day sucks you back into this illusionary world of material happiness and then you get news that slaps you right in the face.
A colleague and friend, someone I consider to be one of the support beams in my life has just been given a terminal cancer diagnosis. This has affected me on so many different levels that I could do nothing but cry for three days.  It is just awful to say that my genuinely upsetting photo on facebook reached a ridiculous 2,332 people. I was very touched by the people that left comments and contacted me personally to see if I was okay. The outpouring of support was comforting but I knew I didn’t need ‘to talk it out’. I needed a few days away and some journaling to help me work out my feelings in all of this. This hit to my heart feels like I have been thrown back into a place of fear and despair. 

 

 Sometimes the only thing that helps a hurting heart is a paint brush and some loud music. Hug your loved ones tonight peeps. Life can change in a heartbeat xox

 

My friend has looked after me like a sister and as the years have gone by, we have been able to share more personal experiences inviting each other into parts of our private lives that have forged an emotional sisterhood of sorts. She has seen the birth of my babies, the heartache of my cancer and my slow and steady recovery to wellness. I am so indebted to her and so grateful.  She has genuinely cared for me and my family, and now I feel so totally helpless. I am getting a sense of how people felt when they heard of my diagnosis. 
I have been of working through my cancer issues for four years now. Constantly and consciously looking inwards and working with the shadow side of myself. Committing to meditation and self awareness classes to release the cancer part of me and to help me become an enlightened version of myself. Dedicating my energy to my art and using that as a healing tool.  All the while staying as grounded as I can be with looming genetics and the constant vigil of medical appointments and intrusive procedures.  It is very hard for some people to comprehend the hard work and commitment it takes to stay true to your destiny path. 

 

A recent visit to the oncology gynaecologist , which at the moment is on my annual ‘to do’ list revealed that the ‘preventative surgery’ of a full hysterectomy should be done sooner rather than later.  My funky MLH1 gene makes way to an increased risk of cancer of the uterus by 60% and ovarian by %15.  Part of me wants to hang onto what I have left for as long as possible, if they take much more out I’ll be a walking tube. The other part never wants to put my family in a position of ‘helplessness’ ever again. Of course there is also the part of me that NEVER EVER wants to go through cancer ever again, and then there is the enlighten part that reassures me that my biography becomes by biology and I may never ever get a cancer again.  This bamboozle of thoughts and emotions is played out almost every day of my life. Hence the small circle of friendships I keep and the immediate rejection of anything toxic which might want to invade and play out in my life.
Emotional? Yes, I am after all a Cancerian.  Sense of humour? Most definitely. It is probably what has helped me get through as much as I have.  The security of the support team I had locked around me is starting to shift again and that is where the most fear has come from. It is embracing change and knowing that nothing in life is set in concrete. My heart however still needs to come to terms with what is to come, although my friend has been given the best of a worse case scenario. If I was to make an analogy of the situation it’s like this – most people think that I would be use to all the medical procedures by now, but infact it is quite the opposite. I know what is coming and that is what makes it even harder to deal with.