C’est la vie to 2021

C’est la vie to 2021

C’est la vie to 2021.

What started as a slow return to normal quickly turned into a round of dodge ball at the supermarket, avoiding all eye contact with masked faces because the last thing I needed was someone downloading on me in the middle of isle 4.

The isolation for myself and my kids simply got too much and I found myself increasingly concerned about their mental health, unsuccessfully grappling for resources to try and help support them.

Manageable self-care routines went out the window when Allied Health Services had to close to all but emergency cases. This turned the usual aches and pains into chronic conditions which are now going to take months to repair.

Lock down 6 admittedly broke me. If I haven’t messaged you for a while it’s because I have had nothing left to give. Literally. The give in my clothes finally gave out and now I have a wardrobe full of things I can no longer wear. Let me tell you, this is no mean feat for a girl with no stomach.

The prolonged stress and emotional weight has been overwhelming and this is from someone who has done years and years of shadow work. Believe me, I have had all the spiritual resources at my fingertips and I have still struggled through this 18months.

Some days my sense of humor is the only thing that’s has kept me from a total meltdown and even that has managed to get me in trouble.

This post is not about seeking sympathy, support or advise. I just want you to know it’s okay not be okay, no matter how ‘awoke’ you are. This new world is still taking shape and there will be no going back to the old ways. It is a huge time of grieving in so many ways. We will all have to find our place again and that might mean a big change in direction.

Some days it’s just about getting up and having a shower. For those mums in the room, remember bringing that newborn home? Those few minutes you get to run some cold water on your face or actually get changed out of your pajamas.

Some days are going to be about the small wins. Bringing your energy in and simply saying ‘no, I can’t do that today.’ And being okay with that. Loosing the guilt behind trying to be everything to everyone. It’s hard enough carrying your own burdens without the weight of others.

Allow yourself to create space just because you can and you should.

On a personal note this also means that I have pulled back from several social media platforms, groups and friendships. I need to do what is best for my mental health and that includes not being a part of other peoples agendas or listening to others opinions.

Where does this leave me? I simply do not know. I have not been able to regain my pre lockdown energy and drive to make things successful. After 9 years I have made the tough decision to hand over my Gastrectomy Connections Site to a much larger organisation in the hopes that they will have the drive and resources to give it everything it deserves. It’s time to let some big things go

It is way past due for some karmic separation with things and people that no longer align with me. So as we enter this last month of 2021 I will be addressing all that needs to be addressed so I can walk into next year with some clarity around what lays ahead for me. I am choosing to surrender to the process.

I hope you’ll hang around but I understand if you don’t. We are meant to change and evolving is part of the process.

The Ever Evolving Artist

The Ever Evolving Artist

The Ever Evolving Artist

I asked a musician friend of mine how does he feel when he is asked to keep going back and playing old songs? It was something that no one had asked him before. After a little thought his reply was that it was difficult.  So how do you keep giving the fans what they want, but you are constantly evolving?
I feel the same way as a visual artist. Someone said to me that they preferred the abstract acrylics I used to do. It took all of my facial muscles to prevent my eyes from rolling back in my head. I watch other artists that pump out the same work for years and years. There is only so many paintings of naked people swimming underwater I can admire before I unfollow someone.
These artists may have found their niche and perhaps they are very successful with their style but personally I find variety is the spice of life. As an artist I would loose my passion very quickly if the expectations from the public was to continue pushing out the same stuff day in and day out.   I am not saying that art doesn’t come from a place of inspiration for these repeat offenders but somehow when it becomes a production line of ‘same thing different painting’ surely some passion and heart is lost.
The most amazing thing about creating is having the ability to paint the same subject in different mediums and getting very different results. When I allow my intuitive nature to flow into any project then it has no choice but to evolve. Sure, I have a run of things and then I move onto something else. Some may call it self sabotage, as it may appear that a project is becoming successful and I stop doing it. That I am always going to be the struggling artist if I constantly move the goal posts and confuse my admiring followers.
Here’s the thing. I always go back to most projects but when I do it’s with fresh eyes. I want to learn and expand and create with ever fiber of my being. When you reach the peak of your current skill set or have a create block, don’t stop there. Even the most beautiful pond will go stagnant without running water. You have to keep the flow going and the way I do that is to try something new or to revisit something old with new knowledge.
Diversity is the key to keeping my life force flowing. I recently read a blog about creatives which mentioned something extremely important ‘You don’t have to monetize your joy.’ My art room is literally exploding with ideas that I have not felt ready to or have not wanted to share with the world.
Heading back into a full time job or pumping out pet portraits would definitely ease the financial burdens I place on our family. However if I did that then a part of me would die and that scares me more than having no money. Anyone who has ever been through a traumatic experience knows that life takes on a very different perspective afterwards. Sure, things would be very different with a decent amount of cash in my bank account but would I have pushed my creative limitations if there was? Truthfully, probably not.
I love the ever evolving artist, she surprises me everyday. I get excited about whats next and wake up in the mornings with an indescribable joy in my heart. What part of my soul will awaken today bringing in higher levels of consciousness and inspiration. The unknown used to scare me, now I feel a growing excitement for change.
Art means different things to different people. I choose to heal, expand and challenge myself through creative expression. Being in the space I find myself now, I appreciate the opportunities that have made me do the soul work.  Made me get uncomfortable and made me search for a deeper understanding of self.  Over the last nine years I have integrated this into every cell in my body and continue to do so. When that big opportunity knocks, and I never doubt that it will, it will not change the core of who I have become and it definitely will not stop the person I am meant to be.

The Stomachless Artist

The Stomachless Artist


Hi, I’m Michelle. I thought I would reintroduce myself to everyone. In 2011 my world changed forever. Not only did I survive stomach cancer I also discovered I live with Lynch Syndrome, also known as hereditary nonpolyposis colorectal cancer. For anyone who has carries a genetic predisposition there is a lot of anxiety attached to it.

I attended self development for many years, have read a pile of books, connected with others living in similar circumstances and have spent an awful amount of time in my head. In my newsletter I wrote “One of the things I will take away from 2017 is that I have tried very hard to be a bee over the last few years. Encouragement pushing me in that direction has only made me more conflicted and aware that I was trying to be something I was not. My business was not gaining momentum because of what I was projecting and I know now that that was not my authentic self, rather a productive version of me that I felt I had to be in order to be successful. All the while I was unconsciously projecting the very fear of success I was afraid of by not being true to myself. “

This has been a confronting year of truth and as Kerwin Rae says ‘Just trust the path as you go.’ Doing things through fear has held me back because I believed that I had to find one thing and be great at that. But, I am not one thing, I am many things and I can BE all of them. It has taken some serious life lessons to realize I just need to be me.

Fact, I live without a stomach everyday and some days are more challenging than others. My art is my healing space and my time to create for others. I am a mother, a wife, a cancer survivor, a healer, a writer, an artist, an explorer, a creator, a business woman and a friend. In order to live to my full potential I need to accept all of me without self judgment.

So with excited uncertainty I do not know where the path is going to take me in 2018 but I know I will be embracing it with both hands. ?❤️??

#bio #Artist #magical #uniquegift #abundance #livewithoutlimits #cancersurvivor #stomachcancer #bringon2018 #artistwithnostomach

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